Life Matters ©

From Thanksgiving gatherings to the fireworks bringing in the New Year, the holiday period from November to January is a festive time for millions. But while countless will perhaps dance many nights away this season, others will encounter a different type of song all together.

Some call it the holiday blues. Others will experience it as symptoms of grief, depression and anxiety.

“I feel like I’m in the dumps . . . I just want to get away from everyone . . . What’s there to celebrate?”

A number of factors can lead us to feel depressed and anxious over the holidays, including:

• Enduring the loss of a loved one
• Being away from family and friends
• Returning home to unresolved family issues
• Facing a lot stress over the holidays
• Not being able to celebrate as one desires due to ongoing financial pressures or lack of finances  

If this is your experience, here are a few suggestions:

Withdrawing from others is one of the first things you might be tempted to do when feeling down, sad, anxious or depressed. Isolation, however, often only serves to exacerbate these feelings and the thoughts contributing to your mood. Interacting with others on the other hand can bring encouragement and help to at least take your mind off the challenges temporarily.

No need to suppress what you are experiencing. Whether the loss is recent or even occurred years ago, holidays will naturally remind you of the special times you once shared with that special person. Talking with others about those precious memories can help bring solace as you continue to adapt to holidays and life overall without that person.

Experiencing grief this holiday season does not have to stop you from celebrating the person you miss. You can honor him or her by engaging in a special activity in their name—perhaps volunteering your time to help others or making a contribution to a worthy cause your loved one would have supported.

Sometimes after a loss, we may feel guilty about adapting to life without that special person. Enjoying a good time or having fun does not diminish your love for the individual.  It is okay to experience moments of happiness even in midst of your grief.

Existing conflict or unresolved family issues can lead anyone to experience some level of anxiety. You probably will not or should not attempt to resolve these issues at the Thanksgiving family dinner or Christmas party. But do commit to addressing them at some point rather than ignoring the pink elephant in the room. For now, make the best of your family gatherings. If you sense that it will be too overwhelming, you can always choose to not attend this year and make other plans.

While the recession may be technically over according to economists, we are not out of the woods yet. Many individuals and families continue to face dire financial times. Don’t feel pressured to celebrate the holidays as you have in the past or in the same way your friends and neighbors are this year. Stay within your means. Realize that your current financial situation is temporary. You will hopefully be in a better place next year at this time. For now, keeping it simple will allow you to not only make the best of the holidays but will also keep you from making it worst by going further into debt.

Because life matters, even in midts of difficult days, you too can experience the joy of the holiday season.

Dr. Keny Felix is a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, and is on the faculty of Richmont Graduate University in Atlanta. Information provided in this blog is presented to a general audience and is not a substitute for a direct clinical evaluation or treatment by Dr. Keny Felix or other mental health practitioner when warranted. For more information, please visit http://kenyfelix.com/home.